Mental Health

It is ok to NOT be ok!

Hi there! 

Today I wanted to discuss this idea: IT IS OK TO NOT BE OK. 

Ever have someone ask you how you are doing and you had so much going on in your life that you were tempted to unload all that stuff onto them? However, after quickly realizing that they probably could not handle your stuff, you answered with a….”I’m fine.”

Oftentimes, people tend to think that “strong people” don’t have any problems and if they do then they will fix it on their own and be just “fine.”

People do this because they simply cannot handle their “rock” being human, weak, weary, tired, or even scared. It is ok for them to be weak and have the strong person support them but the strong person does not get the opportunity or space to have any human moments.

Oftentimes, the strong person is always there for everyone else in their time of need but when they have problems they are left alone to deal with their pain and problems.

Not to be morbid but this is why “happy” or “strong” people sometimes commit suicide. It is because they have no outlet and have become so accustomed to putting on the strong mask that they rarely take time to self-care or to reach out for help. I call this: Tears of a Clown. The clown is forever smiling whether they are dying inside or not.

So, today I am here to say that it is ok to not be ok right now. So much is going on in our world and everything has changed overnight. So, if you feel lost, tired, scared, or even sad due to the state of the world or your own private life then it is ok and you are not alone.

I totally understand but I have but one request of you. Please let someone know. Even though no one asks because they know that you can handle a lot, you have to give them the opportunity to be there for you or not. If you let down your guard and that person brushes you off or doesn’t respond then you know what you are dealing with. However, you cannot blame them for not being there for you if you never gave them a chance.

I will talk more about depression and overwhelm in a future email. However, I did write a book on this very topic.

In, The Curse of the Strong book, I discuss the following:

1. How Narcissistic Parenting creates “The Strong One”?
2. Why “The Strong One” is usually a Perfectionist?
3. Why “The Strong One” often finds himself/herself in a Codependent relationship with their family/partner?

These three ingredients, a Narcissistic parent, Perfectionism, and Codependency are usually what creates the “The Strong One.” These ingredients are also what leads to burnout!

If you are interested in checking this book out, click one of the links below:

Downloadable PDF:
Softcover book:

Hopefully, you will think about what I said and let someone know if you are not ok. Either way, always remember that I am rooting for you! 

You can email at

The Blindspot Biz

The Blindspot Biz

Hello there! I am Deirdre Haynes and I am the owner of Deirdre Haynes Counseling Services and The Blindspot Biz. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor (LPCS), a Nationally Board Certified Teacher (NBCT) in School Counseling, and a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC). I have over seventeen years of experience in the counseling field. I am a licensed mental health therapist, certified Hypnotherapist, author of 18 books, and a blogger/vlogger (Youtube). My full intention is to help you discover your blindspots (or those unknown obstacles that impede progress), change your mindset and patterns of thinking, and TRANSFORM your life! *Hope * Heal * Help

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